I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
