You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
