If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
