Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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