The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
