Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
