i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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