I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
