hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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