Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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