I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
