A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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