Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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