hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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