If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
