no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
