He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We are two peas in an std pod
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
