why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
