You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
