He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
