There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
