You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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