Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
