About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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