everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
