he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
