My nipple is on Facebook.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
