i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
