Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
