this beer tastes like vomit already
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
