Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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