I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
