I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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