Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
