I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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