And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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