I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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