i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
