its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
