i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
