Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
