You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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