How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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