and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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