4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
