another moral hangover. fuck.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just found puke in my bra..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
