dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
