i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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