I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
