My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
