Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
