So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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